Tag Archives: relationship

untilted1.9

I don’t like pretending because I don’t want people to accept or love me for what I’m not. I want to be as true as I am in the eyes of God. Getting close to Him is not an escape from the “misery” I am experiencing right now but a realization that He is the only one I can turn to at all times and He deserves all the love, praise, thoughtfulness, attention, and energy that I have. Nothing makes my life meaningful and fulfilled than having an intimate relationship with Him, my confidant and everything.

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untilted1.8

I just think:

“Sometimes, silence means more than words. It creates rather than destroys. It assures rather than threatens. It speaks the language of peace, respect, and enduring love.

“If absence makes the heart grow fonder and if out of sight is out of mind, it’s better not to entertain our emotions for it makes our ego suffer and it’s better not to rely on our senses and thoughts for it thrives our ego to create more suffering. Let then be our present take care of now. Stop looking back or forward because the past and the future are merely thought forms, which are temporal and therefore, insignificant.

untilted1.7

As I was reading Chapter Four of Tolles’s a New Earth, I realized that: (1) my ego is aggressively working despite my assumption that I am awakened (I have realized my Presence); (2) my negative reactions to little things, which is called “triggers,” have been helping my ego destroying myself and relationship with others; (3) others person’s Presence is more realistic than mine while I used to believe otherwise; (4) I don’t need to be in a relationship if it is just serving my ego; and (5) I must admit I have been indifferent and having the feeling of unending and thwarted wanting.

Does it mean I have to detach myself from the real world, escape from reality, and avoid people I identify with or rather connected with to be able to focus on my Presence? This question remains unanswered until I’m done reading or even I have had enough guidance. If there’s one thing I am sure of, I am not afraid of anything but hurting one’s feelings. And if there’s one wish I could be granted, it is my ability to love unconditionally regardless of time, frequency, situation, and one’s identity.

untilted1.4

Life is not a game. You never lose. Even before you were born, you have always been a winner because God planned you and created you out of His love. Your parents were pleased while they were making love, that is, making you. In the case of rape, your father was also pleased but in a selfish way. It happened and you were born not to bring suffering on your part or your mother’s but to make your father realize that despite his evil deeds, something wonderful can happen – He gave you the gift of life. To appreciate this gift, you share it with others. By doing this, you become a gift for everyone. Instead of complaining and clinging to past events be grateful and make the best out of life, not get the best out of it. As a winner people look up to you. They expect to see the good, if not the best, things from you. It is your responsibility to hone your character, your actions, and your relationship with others that you may serve as an edifying figure of God’s masterpiece.

Falling out of love or something else?

I typed the phrase, ‘falling out of love’ and the search engines i used displayed a number of sites that contain this topic. There are several indications that a person is falling out of love. Based on what I’ve read, you have fallen out of love when you would:

* no longer come around are you used to without a good reason or clear explanation

* not return calls or reply mails

* show frown more than smile on your face when your partner is around

* always be in hurry to leave

* show no laughter unlike like before

* often blame and make excuses

* not pay attention or show boredom during conversation

* pretend as if you didn’t hear anything

* not talk about financial or security matters

* not take showers with your partner anymore

* say or show lack of confidence in your partner’s abilities in doing things

* tell your partner that his/her products are crap and no one would want them

* not give importance to your partner’s words or phone messages

* claim that you have no money for something but suddenly find some amount to spend for something else

* have to keep going into another room or outside when taking calls

* claim that your partner is lazy and demands him/her to get a better job

* refuse to talk about serious matters or acknowledge that you are having a difficult situation in your relationship

* not greet him/her nor acknowledge his/her presence when you see each somewhere

* not ask for his/her suggestion, favor or help even if he/she can, have a better idea or have something to offer

* not show concern for him/her, your kids, his/her parents or friends, etc.

* act or think differently or inappropriately to serious matters

* not spend time with your partner as often as you used to

* not give support especially when he/she needed it most

* not want to make love with him/her so often

* fight or argue with your partner a lot

* change the way you talk to your partner, look at or kiss him/her

* make alibis when you wouldn’t go home or arrive on time

* not care about your partner as you did before

* not show importance to your partner or to the things he/she say and do

* see his/her faults and failures rather than being endearing

* easily get annoyed, angry, frustrated, infuriated, disgusted about him/her or other things

* begin to wonder what you ever saw in him/her

* hang out with others for a while instead of your partner

* start to withdraw until you eventually leave him/her hanging without any assurance

* lose respect for your partner

* not express sweet utterances or acts of intimacy

* not say “I love you” or “I missed you” any more

* not talk about your problems and always be depressed

* have second thoughts about your plans or decisions concerning both of you or your relationship

* lie to him/her and keep on denying things that would hurt him/her

Falling out of love can happen to anyone even after many years of marriage or intimate relationship. However, it should not be regarded as the ultimate ground for breaking up with your partner.

Your feeling of being “in love” may fade over time but it doesn’t mean that your love for your significant other has suddenly vanished. When you no longer feel he/she takes your breath away, you are floating in the air, your rapid heartbeats, butterflies-in-the-stomach, tingling sensations, nervousness, excitement or enthusiasm but you are sure that you love your partner as you are loved, you could be in a relationship “comfort zone” in which you no longer constantly strive to impress your partner, do things to spice up your relationship, make surprises or exert an effort to prevent mundane activities.

It is important to assess the other aspects in your relationship or of yourselves as individual before making decisions that would greatly affect your entire life. Communication is a very important element for a relationship to last a lifetime but you should be able to use it at a right time and in a proper place.

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The above information is just part of what I gathered but, more or less, it summarizes the common signs of falling out of love.

Do you have a hard time dealing with your jealousy or confusion? How about taking the quiz at about.com? Click the title and muse over the next best thing to do. (Are you falling OUT of love?)