As I was reading Chapter Four of Tolles’s a New Earth, I realized that: (1) my ego is aggressively working despite my assumption that I am awakened (I have realized my Presence); (2) my negative reactions to little things, which is called “triggers,” have been helping my ego destroying myself and relationship with others; (3) others person’s Presence is more realistic than mine while I used to believe otherwise; (4) I don’t need to be in a relationship if it is just serving my ego; and (5) I must admit I have been indifferent and having the feeling of unending and thwarted wanting.
Does it mean I have to detach myself from the real world, escape from reality, and avoid people I identify with or rather connected with to be able to focus on my Presence? This question remains unanswered until I’m done reading or even I have had enough guidance. If there’s one thing I am sure of, I am not afraid of anything but hurting one’s feelings. And if there’s one wish I could be granted, it is my ability to love unconditionally regardless of time, frequency, situation, and one’s identity.