prejudice

who would vituperate me for being myself?

i know you would

yes, you…

you, who is self righteous, conceited, arrogant vociferous freak

who would often go to church to see and to be seen

who would do religious activities as indulgence for your loathsome activities

who would seek approval by trying hard to be someone or pretending to be someone else

who would earn praises in return for flattering others and following their selfish agenda

who would showcase what is pleasing to others while secretly enduring eternal suffering

leave me alone for i can’t stand to look at you

just leave for you are not worthy of my time

unless you would listen intently with discernment

unless you dig your heart out

only then you will find the treasure you’ve always been looking for

(June 2011)

nothing for no one

i can’t waste my time waiting for nothing

i can’t grant wishes that give no meaning

i can’t be with you if you prefer to be with someone else

i can’t love you the way you expect me to

i can’t be the best if you don’t see me

i can’t make you happy if you believe that happiness is a choice and not something given

i can’t be your security if i have become your greatest fear for being true to myself

i can’t be your friend if you already have one

i can’t be your little secret because i’m proud when i say i love you

if i can’t be your someone then i am nothing

sick cycle carousel

love is a mystery and loving is the most impossible thing to resist

i just don’t know when it is right to entertain,

where it can be found

or who it is meant for

i just want to feel this way

love is like a sick cycle carousel

it goes on and on and it never stops

it lingers, it lurks

while relationships last, love does not

while people die, love does not

while promises can be broken, love can’t

while hearts can be torn into pieces, love can’t

despite the wasted time

despite the pain

despite the confusions

despite the sorrow it brings

i still want to love and be loved

for when i love the world stops

i am myself, at peace with nature

dreaming impossible dreams

taking tiny steps

in the middle of uncertainties

mesmerized by the beauty of every creature

wonder of every thought

lure of every sound

sensing the moment

hoping to share a lasting joy

and give all what is best

to the one i can truly call

love

(June 2011)

This time of my life

I’ve seen the sun in a clear sky
Where it keeps shining after the rain
Through the window it brightens my gloomy abode
It welcomes the stream that is gently flowing
As though with shimmering crystal its reflection gleams
It lights the shadow, warms the cold air
And turns a phantom into a palpable sight

I’ve conquered the land
That looks as if it has not undergone destruction
For it is able to regenerate and revive its beauty
The more it is replenished the more it gives
And it seems it would never stop yielding
Full of treasures and astonishing views
It entices me to live forever

I’ve touched the cloud and sunk into the ocean
Soft like a sweet breath, deep like the love I feel
It’s inviting me to embrace nature like it’s mine
As it shows how much it needs to be nourished and taken cared of
Never will I forsake this place I can call my home
This is where I want to rest
This is where I will offer my life

In the dark woods I was lost, blinded, and deceived
But I was found, comforted, and secured
Having this wonderful experience makes my spirit shout with glee
For it brings me strength and hope to survive
I have seen the world in a different light
And I will cherish this time of my life even after everything withers
My loyalty remains to nature as long as it is there allowing me to grow each day

(August 2007)