—– Forwarded Message —-
From: Money Villarroyo
To: Elizabeth Alim
Sent: Wednesday, March 17, 2010 9:19:58 AM
Subject: PATI BIBLIYA GUSTONG BALIGTARIN NI MANNY VILLARROYO MANALO LANG SA ELEKSIYON, HESUS MARYOSEP!
Comic Relief for the 2010 Philippine Presidential Election
By Tom Seyer
Senior Correspondent, Coconut News Network (CNN Kuno, as coined originally by Romeo P. Marquez)
It seems that all Filipino presidential candidates are running after the so-called “Catholic vote.” But please read Bobby Reyes’ article, Is There a “Catholic Vote” in the Philippines? and perhaps you may agree with the author that it is an exercise in futility because almost all of the presidential candidates are Catholic.
The “Biblical Battle” for the 2010 Philippine presidency started in the Vatican when President Gloria Macapagal Arroyo told the Pope that “God told her to run in the 2004 presidential election.”
Bro. Eddie Villanueva, who was one of Mrs. Arroyo’s opponents in the 2004 presidential campaign, said allegedly that God denied to him that the Almighty ever talked to Mrs. Arroyo. Brother Eddie was overheard saying that he talks to God almost daily and he was assured that Mrs. Arroyo was not one of the Almighty’s phone pals.
However, supporters of Ang Kapatiran Party’s presidential candidate, JC de los Reyes, say that their man is actually the candidate of many Catholic bishops and priests. They claim that the name “JC de los Reyes” means “Jesus Christ of the Kings.”
But former President Joseph “Erap” Estrada allegedly said that he is the only candidate who really follows the Bible. He was said to have reasoned out that after all he observes to the limit God’s command to “go forth and multiply,” as found in Genesis 1:28.
Then former President Erap said that he has made peace with the Catholic bishops as found in these articles:
Détente between Erap and the CBCP (Part I of “Erap and the Bishops”)
Part II of Erap and the Bishops
Erap and the Bishops (Part III)
The supporters of Sen. Noynoy Aquino say that many Catholic voters will vote for their candidate, as he is the son of the yet-to-be-canonized third Filipino saint, former President Cory Cojuangco-Aquino.
However, supporters of presidential front runner Manuel Villar claim that actually Senator Villar was originally baptized as Emmanuel, which means “God is with us.” The Villar supporters also say that ancient Hebrew text regarded the name “Emmanuel” as a pledge of Divine assistance and, therefore, God will not abandon Mr. Villar on election day.
Then the pro-Villar campaigners say that as alphabetically listed, Senator Villar is last in the list. But as found in the Gospel (Matthew 20:16), Jesus declares that in the world to come, “The last shall be first and the first last.” Ergo, Manny Villar wins, if voters will follow the Bible.
Letters of Paul
In the meantime, Paul Villar is being urged by members of the Media Breakfast Club (MBC) to start writing campaign letters. Paul is the Southern California-based nephew of Senator Villar and who was assigned to be the liaison man of the Villar Campaign to the MBC members.
The MBC members suggest that the campaign letters carry these titles:
Letter of Paul to the Corynthians (the supporters of former President Cory Cojuangco-Aquino),
Letter of Paul to the Pilipians (these are the Corynthians who eat a lot of pili nuts),
Letter of Paul to the Gibotians (the followers of presidential candidate Gibo Cojuangco-Teodoro, Jr.), and
Letter of Paul to Galasians (Galas is a district in Quezon City).
